My week started out in a tough way. At 5 a.m. Monday morning, my son left for boot camp. I won't see him now for at least ten weeks, when he's done with basic training. He'll be able to write letters home, but that's it. No visits and few phone calls.
I've been thinking about how I feel about my son joining the National Guard and going off to boot camp. A friend of mine sent me a copy of a letter from a soldier in Afghanistan that was posted on the National Review Online (NRO). Here's my favorite part:
"We are not your sons and daughters, whom you must protect and defend. We are your sword and your shield. We are men and women who volunteer to place our lives on the line so you do not have to. We do not decide when or where we will be sent. We go. You are our advocates, not our parents."
This sums up part of the difficulty I have as the parent of a newly enlisted soldier. I've spent over twenty years raising my son, protecting and defending him. Even though he is now twenty years old, I still feel that is my role as a parent. We are, after all, always a parent. We will always worry about our children, no matter how old they are. It is very difficult to adjust to the idea that my son is now in the role of being the protector and defender, and not just of me, but of our entire country, and if you want to extend it, of freedom itself.
I look at my son and still see the kid who hates to do homework and can't keep his room clean. And now he's part of our sword and shield. I can't be the only parent who has a tough time with this transition. Until I read that soldier's letter, I don't think I understood my feelings. They are quite a mix. I'm proud of him, but I'm also apprehensive.
At this stage, though, my apprehension is not a concern about his new role as soldier and protector. I'm just hoping he makes it through boot camp!
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you, thank you. I am crying as I write. It is always tearing for me when someone articulates so perfectly what I feel. I have a 32, 28, 23, 16 and 10 year old. My 16 year old is gifted. We struggle and struggle for them and work so hard for them. It’s so hard to change that role. Only with God’s help do we accomplish the task. I will pray for your son and you that you both make it through this transition.
You must have raised a wonderful son who is so willing to be that defender for us. We will pray for him, and for you. I can’t imagine how hard it will be when my kids leave home period, not to mention to join the National Guard. You have every right to your mixed feelings! God bless all of those who serve our country so selflessly.
Oh, you must be so proud of him, Carol. Treasure those letters and know that your love and support have equipped him to grow into the man he is becoming. I’ll keep him–and you–in my thoughts and prayers over the coming weeks and months.
Thanks so much for your comments! I am very proud of my son. I miss him terribly and wonder how he’s doing at boot camp. It’s just killing me that I can’t talk to him!