Obsessions are not always bad
Wednesday October 28, 2009
It's pretty common for gifted kids to become obsessed with one thing or another. My own son had several obsessions - dinosaurs, space, Pokemon.... Sometimes the kids seem so obsessed that parents worry.
I'm here to tell you that obsessive behavior can have its benefits. I myself am quite obsessive about some things (obsessive people to tend to be selective about their obsessions; not everything is worthy). This past weekend, my computer displayed the "blue screen of death" (BSOD). You may have seen that nasty blue screen that informs you that a serious error has occurred. Usually, the computer boots right back up and all is well.
Unfortunately for me, that didn't happen. My computer was stuck in an endless loop of boot up - BSOD - boot up - BSOD. It was actually worse than that (yes, that is actually possible), but you get the idea.
I was determined to save my computer. And I did. After ten straight hours, I managed to resurrect my computer. You might think my behavior was more like perseverance, a more "positive" trait. But remember I said I worked ten hours straight. I couldn't do anything else until I solved that computer problem. I was obsessed with fixing it. I could have taken it in for repairs. But what fun would that be?
And there is the key. In an odd way, I enjoyed the challenge of solving my problem. It was frustrating at times, but it was also gratifying when I solved the problem. And along the way, I learned a great deal about the problem my computer had and the way to repair it. I suspect our obsessed kids get a similar kind of gratification and learn much from their various obsessions.
That's not such a bad thing.
I'm here to tell you that obsessive behavior can have its benefits. I myself am quite obsessive about some things (obsessive people to tend to be selective about their obsessions; not everything is worthy). This past weekend, my computer displayed the "blue screen of death" (BSOD). You may have seen that nasty blue screen that informs you that a serious error has occurred. Usually, the computer boots right back up and all is well.
Unfortunately for me, that didn't happen. My computer was stuck in an endless loop of boot up - BSOD - boot up - BSOD. It was actually worse than that (yes, that is actually possible), but you get the idea.
I was determined to save my computer. And I did. After ten straight hours, I managed to resurrect my computer. You might think my behavior was more like perseverance, a more "positive" trait. But remember I said I worked ten hours straight. I couldn't do anything else until I solved that computer problem. I was obsessed with fixing it. I could have taken it in for repairs. But what fun would that be?
And there is the key. In an odd way, I enjoyed the challenge of solving my problem. It was frustrating at times, but it was also gratifying when I solved the problem. And along the way, I learned a great deal about the problem my computer had and the way to repair it. I suspect our obsessed kids get a similar kind of gratification and learn much from their various obsessions.
That's not such a bad thing.
I am so very happy that you wrote this. My son is 3 years and 2 months and obsessed with trains (and now PBSs Dinasaur Train). He makes them out of legos, he draws them, he paints them, he sleeps with them and his favorite book is The Big Book of Trains. I was fine with it until he refused to draw anything else but trains (he is a very gifted artist and his artwork looks like a 6 year old). I was even going contemplating asking his teacher if she thought it was a problem. It is wonderful that he can do this, but at the same time I was wondering if his mind was “stuck” lol
.
My son has been obsessed with order since he was a baby. He used to cry and cry when we were behind cars at a stop light and he would always cry when we watched the Baby Einstein DVD with the animals racing cars (I can’t remember which episode it was). I couldn’t figure out why he would cry over these things, until he was two and could finally tell me that he didn’t like being behind other cars. In the DVD he didn’t like how the cars moved around and their order changed, and he didn’t like that one of them lost. When others observe his obsession with order, they will ask me if he is obsessive compulsive (the nerve of people!).
He has also done the dinosaur obsession, and is VERY into time, calendars, and geography. We found a US map at the dollar store yesterday and he LOVED it. I’m going to get it for him for Christmas