Sad Stories of Gifted Prodigies
Tuesday April 1, 2008
Raising gifted children is not easy. While we want to nurture our children's strengths and abilities, we fear that we might be pushing our children, which we are frequently told can cause harm. We are told to let our kids be kids. It can be hard to find the right balance.
I write about this issue often, trying to help parents understand how to tell the difference between nurturing and pushing. However, every so often stories appear in the news about gifted children whose lives had once seemed to hold so much promise, but who had somehow squandered their potential.
People will often point to these stories as proof of the claims that we parents of gifted kids should just "let your kids be kids." I recently ran across such a "cautionary tale" about Sufiah Yusof, who in 1997 at the age 13, was the youngest student accepted into Oxford University since 1984. In 2008, Sufiah was found working as a prostitute just northwest of London.
After three years at Oxford, Sufia had run away and when she was found safe, refused to go back to her parents, who she said had pressured her too much. Instead of investigating her claims and considering factors other than her early entry into Oxford, some people were quick to point to the common belief that gifted kids are socially isolated. One story like Sufia's can completely cancel out the majority of evidence (readily available at the Nation Deceived Web site) suggesting that the different forms of acceleration, including early college entry, does not by itself harm gifted kids, but instead can be quite beneficial.
As sad as Sufia's tale is, I found something even sadder -- if that's possible. Nikita Lalwani wrote a book based in part on Sufia's story. It raises the question of how much we can push our gifted children academically. That is a valid and useful question. But why did she have to name the book Dangerous Talent? How sad is it to consider a gifted talent dangerous?
I write about this issue often, trying to help parents understand how to tell the difference between nurturing and pushing. However, every so often stories appear in the news about gifted children whose lives had once seemed to hold so much promise, but who had somehow squandered their potential.
People will often point to these stories as proof of the claims that we parents of gifted kids should just "let your kids be kids." I recently ran across such a "cautionary tale" about Sufiah Yusof, who in 1997 at the age 13, was the youngest student accepted into Oxford University since 1984. In 2008, Sufiah was found working as a prostitute just northwest of London.
After three years at Oxford, Sufia had run away and when she was found safe, refused to go back to her parents, who she said had pressured her too much. Instead of investigating her claims and considering factors other than her early entry into Oxford, some people were quick to point to the common belief that gifted kids are socially isolated. One story like Sufia's can completely cancel out the majority of evidence (readily available at the Nation Deceived Web site) suggesting that the different forms of acceleration, including early college entry, does not by itself harm gifted kids, but instead can be quite beneficial.
As sad as Sufia's tale is, I found something even sadder -- if that's possible. Nikita Lalwani wrote a book based in part on Sufia's story. It raises the question of how much we can push our gifted children academically. That is a valid and useful question. But why did she have to name the book Dangerous Talent? How sad is it to consider a gifted talent dangerous?
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