Gifted Children and Friendship

A major concern of parents and teachers of gifted children is the ability -- or inability -- of those children to socialize and make friends. However, Andrew Mahoney, a counselor and family therapist, with extensive experience working with gifted kids, says that what is seen as socialization problems in gifted children is really a problem with affiliation, which he describes as "an alliance or association with others of similar intensities, passions, desires and abilities." He adds that "to affiliate, people need to be valued for who they are -- for their uniqueness, talent, specialness, and that they are human beings."

It is difficult for gifted children to affiliate, or achieve a sense of belonging to groups of non-gifted, same-age children because those children don't have the same intensities, passions, desires and abilities. Instead, gifted children will often gravitate toward older children and adults, who are more likely to share those qualities. The need for affiliation is one reason it is so important for gifted children to be able to spend time with other gifted children.

Andy discusses affiliation in his article about gifted identity formation.

Poll: Which statement about friendships best describes your child?

• My child can make friends with anyone.
• My child prefers the company of older children, adults, or other gifted children.
• My child has trouble making friends with anyone.

View Results

More polls from your guide