The Difference Between Being Shy and Being Introverted

Being shy and being introverted aren't the same thing, although they may look the same. An introvert enjoys time alone and gets emotionally drained after spending a lot of time with others. A shy person doesn't necessarily want to be alone but is afraid to interact with others.

Overview

Consider two children in the same classroom, one introverted and one shy. The teacher is organizing an activity for all the children in the room. The introverted child wants to remain at her desk and read a book because she finds being with all the other children stressful. The shy child wants to join the other children but remains at their desk because they are afraid to join them.

Coping With Shyness

In other words, people can get therapy for shyness, but not for introversion. Not all introverts are shy. In fact, some have excellent social skills. However, after engaging in social activities, an introvert will be emotionally drained and need time alone to "recharge" their emotional batteries.

While therapy can help the shy person, trying to turn an introvert into an outgoing extrovert can cause stress and lead to problems with self-esteem. Introverts can learn coping strategies to help them deal with social situations, but they will always be introverts. If you think your child might be an introvert, you might want to look at some of the traits of introversion and see how many of them your child has.

Helping Your Introverted Child

The first thing to do is to recognize that introversion is not a disorder that requires some kind of treatment. In that sense, your introverted child doesn't really need help. However, to ensure that your child is happy and healthy, there are some things you can do.

Accept that your child may not be the social butterfly you hoped she'd be, that your home might not be filled with lots of your child's friends on a regular basis. Accept that your child will no doubt enjoy spending lots of time alone. Accept that your child may have just a few close friends. If you can accept these traits, then you will be less likely to push your child to engage in more social activities than he feels comfortable with.

Be sure, too, to provide some time for your child to wind down after social activities. If your child has been to a party, for example, don't be surprised if she wants to spend some time alone. Going from one social activity to another, even a family dinner, can be a bit stressful for a child and make her a little cranky.